Friday, January 06, 2006


I am still unemployed. Study - postponed. Money - almost zero. Liability - increasing. Book - 70% and still in inertia mode.

I lost someone dear on Christmas day. He was my uncle. He died early morning but we only knew he had passed away later in the afternoon.

Chik was 65 when he passed away. A year younger then my father. He was single. Never married and I was very close with him. He was not exactly my uncle, just my step-uncle, but for us, he was family. what saddens me was nobody had the decency to call us and told us about the sad news. We do not know whether he died alone or if there was someone beside him to whisper and reminded him the name of his Creator. To prepare him. All we can do now is to pray that Allah have mercy on his soul.

I asked dad why Chik never married, dad said that he was engaged before but there was another guy who was also interested with his intended. He just gave up and broke the engagement. Since then, he never show any interest in any girl.

Chik practically raised me. Since he was unmarried and has no family of his own, he regarded me as his daughter he never had. I used to sit on his lap, marvel at his strenght. He would buy me ice-creams whenever I was down with flu or fever. He would say,"Ini ubat demam selsema. Makan, nanti cepat baik." And I would gladly devoured my Wall's ice-cream or guzzled down some bottled soda carbonated drink.

When I started schooling, he was the one who gave my first present. A wristwatch. Not the cheap plastic ones but a real watch. Citizen, Christian Dior and another Citizen. Although he stayed in Klang and us in Ampang, he would come for visit at least once a week or twice a month. And his visits never disappointed me. He would always bring some ole-ole, present - just for me.

Unfortunately, as years go by, we fall apart. I grew up and no longer his little girl. Our relationship was not as close as before. I learnt to have secrets from him. I have other interests. But Chik always love me in his own way. I may not be his little girl whom he could cuddle, in fact we have less physical contact except when I kissed his hands whenever we met. However, in my heart I knew he still love me.

Chik once told dad he wanted to name me as his beneficiery so that if anything happens to him, all his savings will go to me, but dad politely refused the offer. He did not want Chik's real family to squabble over this. The last we knew, Chik had almost RM80,000 in his ASB account.

It was just money. What I lost is greater then that. I lost the one person who loved me dearly. I missed Chik. What I can give now is only Al-Fatihah and doa that Allah have mercy on his soul.

A day after Christmas, my handphone buzzed. It was a text message from Mona. Ipah's dad had passed away in Muar. It was already 6.30pm when text came. I immediately called June (who was based in Muar). Lucky she answered the call. Made a plan with her to go and visit Ipah the next day.

I drove from Malacca to Muar and met June at Abu Bakar Mosque after dropping dad at the Land Office a few meters away from the mosque. We spent three hours at Ipah’s house.

I wish I could help ease Ipah’s sadness. She was very close with her dad. Like I am close with dad. Her eyes were puffy red. She had been crying all night. When we hugged and say goodbye, Ipah whispered in my eyes. “at least everytime I have to go away, I don’t have to worry about him anymore.” I knew then she would be alright.