Friday, December 16, 2005

anger management

I was doing the laundry one morning, when I was reminded of the old adage “You are what you eat”. However in my case – you are what you’re stuck with – a tempremental washing machine!

While I was doing my best coaxing the plastic-made washing machine to do my bidding, it was dawn to me, how similar this machine is with mom’s character. My dad who saw my predicament, joked. “It was all in the genes. Mom’s side, of course.” – how true!

As I looked around, I couldn’t stop thinking, how true it was. Not just at that moment, I was stuck with tempremental semi-automatic washing machine, there was also Sanyo-made refrigerator which sometimes decide to go on strike at its whim. Then, there is this vacuum cleaner that does the opposite. Instead of sucking dust, it spurted its contents – sometimes. I should not start on mom’s ancient blender now!

This tempremental phenomenom did not occur among the mechanical or electronic appliances in the house. The “lord of the manor” was the worse infected with the disease. The lord or commonly known as the black cat would only saunter inside the house when he knows there is food waiting for him. Otherwise, he would be busy “caterwauling” somewhere with his team of harem doing his bidding at his beck and call. Including me!

Sunday, October 02, 2005

life as it is...

Im officially now unemployed and funds is dwindling. Fast. Faster. Fastest and Im definitely not Furious.

By the way, just got a new niece last week. Comel. Cute. As a baby should. Now am aunt of five nephew and nieces. Another small mouth demanding KFC or Mc D in five years time.

Well. Later about this. Contemplating of getting meself a coconut shell and the blackest sunglasses. Practicing my sopranos and all. Where should I go? Jalan TAR. oops! Maybe not the best spot. Practice practice practice.. what songs should I sing?

Im rambling. Tata!

Monday, August 29, 2005

ALWAYS FUN, Being A Malaysian



NATIONAL CONDOM: None. Most Malaysians still feel embarrassed buying condoms. So they rushed into a 7-11, hurriedly grab the nearest pack,any pack, pay and leave before the cashier can even blink an eye.


NATIONAL APHRODISIAC DRINK: Stout. Many swear by it. But after a few pints they start swearing at everything...



NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY WOMEN WHEN REFUSING SEX: Headache, kids not asleep, maid not asleep, mother-in-law around, early appointment, food not digested yet, aircond not cold enough, aircond too cold, nail polish not dry yet, forgot to take the pill, sleepy,stomach cramps, period, haven't remove make-up, haven't shower, no water supply, going to watch "Santa Barbara", depress, no mood, etc...

NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY MEN WHEN REFUSING SEX: None. Malaysian men never refuse sex. (oh ya??)

NATIONAL CURE FOR HEADACHES: Panadol. The "cure for all". If it fails we have another secret weapon; Tiger Balm.



NATIONAL INSTANT CURE FOR DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES): The sight of a police road block.

NATIONAL RUBBISH DUMP: Anywhere. As long as it is not your house.

NATIONAL MOST MIS-PRONOUNCED NAME: Carrefour. Sometimes even pronounced as Carry 4! On second thoughts, why bother pronouncing stupid French brands like Peugeot, Renault or Citroen correctly. I think it sounds better,when the local mechanics say "Pew Jeot".

When I was in school, Milo was always 'Mee Lo', now that I'm sophisticated, I say "My Lo". So don't be embarassed saying "Carry 4" when the Mat Sallehs shamelessly pronounce orang utan as "rangutan".

NATIONAL ROADSIDE DISTRACTION: The Bra-less Tourist. See how heads turn and traffic slows down when a bra-less Mat Salleh backpacker goes bouncing about on the streets.

haha...I like these facts!!!! So real yet so shy to admit it !!!!

Thursday, August 25, 2005


The past two days were hectic. First Mak was not well and then I have to drive down to Johor for a kenduri tahlil. Mak insisted that we go. It is her elder sister kenduri and we should not miss it. It must be day trip and we must be back home in Malacca that night.

She also insisted that we took the trunk road and not waste money on tolls. Agreed. God! It was a tiring journey.

It was a two and a half hour drive down to Benut, but time passed by quickly as I always enjoy driving on the trunk road. I do enjoy the view of the wooden rumah kampung and the winding road. At least it would prevent me from falling asleep while driving. Mak, as usual would ask for "ketap kuku" to cut her nails and when I say I did not kept one in the car, she just lentok her kepala. She was already heading to the dreamland when we left the Malacca's border. So, I drove enjoying the view and the loud rock music from my basket full of rock tapes. Yeah! Rock!

Mak's sleep was disturbed by Mael rambled loudly about not taking a bath. (Taken from the best of Mael and XPDC).

"Lagu apa ni? Bising je." She said. She shifted, getting more comfortable in confined seat.

Biasa aaa.... Rock kapak!

"Dah sampai mana ni?"

"Dah lepas Muar, hala ke Batu Pahat." Mael has not stop "melalak" yet. "Tidur la Mak, jauh lagi ni."

My youngest niece, Dib, was entertaining herself at the back seat. Talking and playing with my stuffed "lembu". Nice lembu. Wanna play, lembu? Look! I have lembu, do you have lembu? Dib was busy showing off the lembu to the driver behind me. Pity him.

"Tak boleh tidur dah. Matikan jer la radio tu," instruction was given. At this time Mael has stopped singing about stinking body odour.

"Tak pe, kang ngantuk plak nanti. Tak de orang nak layan borak." Me.

It was five minutes ago. Mael has been "sedated" and now singing about L.O.V.E. Mak's lentok not for layan rock but layan ngantuk. Off to dreamland again. Dib, still layan the driver at the back and me.. just layan the drive.

We reached Wo Sal's house around 2pm. We are very close with her family so it was straight to the kitchen. After hugging each other and updating the latest, we went straight to work. Then it was makan tengahari time and gossip time. Who is married who is divorced. Who is doing what or go where.

I love kampung lifestyle. Just mention kenduri, all the neighbours would come and help. So, most of my aunt's neighbours were there helping cutting and washing the vegetables and chickens since morning. When we came, we are the second shift cooks. I helped fried the kuih like karipaps and Mak's "new product" samosa. Mak on the other hand busy cooking the dishes for the kenduri.

Here, the kenduri is held after Isya' prayer. And kenduri is specifically for tahlil or doa selamat. When its wedding reception, we dont call it kenduri, its undangan. And here we still hold on to the tradition of makan dalam talam or nasi ambeng. Rice piled up in big tray covered with a few dishes and eat at least four to five people. The tray would be covered with banana leaves to give more aroma to the rice.

Unfortunately, I left my camera at home and only realised it when we already reached Jasin. Darn!

Besides the rice and the normal ayam masak merah dish, ikan kering or dry salted fish is a must for nasi ambeng which is very popular among the Javanese community. Then there is the dish called sambal goreng. Fried anchovies, ground nuts and tempe cooked in chili paste. Some call it sambal lonteng. This sambal if stored properly, can last for days. Most importantly, the sambal must be hot AND sweet. Its like just mention sambal goreng and you immediately associate with Javanese. Another new dish that I learned that day is gareng asam.

This is the first time I heard Gareng Asam. It is actually long beans stir fried with curry powder and ginger, onions, garlic and tumeric. Of course it should be hot as well. Other dishes include the normal stir fried vegetables.

A nasi ambeng would not be completed without fried mee hoon. So, once completed, a nasi ambeng is a setalam nasi dengan mee hoon goreng, topped with several vegetable dishes including Gareng Asam and sprinkled with salted fishes. The treasure of Nasi Ambeng is the chicken chunks masak merah and sambal goreng. Fuh! Berpeluh makan tuh!

Nasi Ambeng is normally served to the men after the tahlil. While the men recited the tahlil and doas, the ladies would prepare the food in the kitchen. A few men normally relatives of the host would bring the trays laden with delicious food from the kitchen to the hall. In Javanese community, there is no direct interaction between the ladies of the house with their male guests. Their JD (job discription) during the kenduri were to cook and prepare the food on the trays. All the serving would be done by their male relatives be it brothers, sons or cousins.

Of course, the men were involved during the "rewang" or gotong-royong to prepare the food in the afternoon. The men were doing heavy stuff such as cooking the rice in big pot, plucking the coconuts and take the milk, slaughtering the chickens and do the cleaning as well. (I need to learn to slaughter chicken too *sigh*). Once the birds were cleaned, they would be handed over to the women to do the cooking.

The rewang here is also unique. The women would come armed with a knife each. Those who could not attend would give packets of flour or sugar to the host as an act of apology for not being able to attend the rewang and kenduri. Rewang was loud affair. They would joke, laugh and tease each other while their hands were busy peeling the onions or stiring the chilli paste in the big wok.

Besides the main dishes, it is important to have dessert or pemanis mulut to wash down all the spicy food. The normal kuih would be curry puff (another spicy food), agar-agar (jelly) and the traditional kuih bahulu. The drink, normally the cheap red sirap. (ada orang kata cicah baulu dengan sirap, sedap. Tapi aku tak minum sirap, camner?)

The Nasi Ambeng tradition is a spirit to bring people together. Everybody regardless position would sit together around the tray and use their fingers to eat the rice. It is a symbol of one. Unity. Togetherness. That we are all the same in the eyes of Allah.

Besides, it is the most practical tradition. You eat together in a tray. So, besides the best time to gossip (bercakap buruk mengenai orang lain itu berdosa), it taught us to be patience and respect one another. Although I want that chunky chicken for myself, I have to learn to share. Darn! Anyway, the host would also have less dirty dishes to wash because the rice were served in trays. At the same time it is environmental friendly as no paper plates were used during the kenduri. Only banana leaves.

But, kenduri for Javanese community would not be completed without berkat. A plastic bag full of rice and dishes along with some kuih or cakes to bring back home for the family. The portion - hm.. must be xtra large that sometimes enough to feed a battalion (Im exaggerating!)

Nevertheless it is a normal practice to set aside the rice (yang agak memang tak abis makan) to be cooked as nasi goreng (fried rice) for next morning breakfast.

Am so tired...

Monday, August 22, 2005

will you marry me?

I asked Zurd to marry me.

It happened yesterday. A beautiful Sunday morning and we were on our way to a wedding kenduri in Kelemak, Alor Gajah. Sorry Zurd, it was not during a candle light dinner or a walk in the park. Sorry, that I pop up the question when you were driving. I purposely did that. I had to corner you. So you would have no place to run away.

And dear, have I told you that you look stunning in your red and white baju kurung with matching scarf? You do.

I think, this is the perfect solution for us. We have known each other for.. 17 YEARS. Im still single and so do you. I know you are "in love" with someone else, but hey! You are not officially attached. Its like the pact made by Julia Roberts and Rupert Everett in My Best Friends Wedding. Lets get married, dear.

We are made for each other. The perfect match. You could finish my sentence and I yours. You know all my secrets and I know only part of yours. You have that mysterious aura that made me attracted to you more. Remember that we would talked on the phone for hours? We tried separation. It doesn't work for us.

Remember the misery, the boring days when you left me in KL alone. You went to Pendang and everyday we would call and talk on the phone? I couldn't explain the joy when you were transferred back to KL. But then our happiness was shortlived. It was my turn to be transferred out from KL. I was in JB and that 13 months there tested our relationship. But, I am just happy that we made it through.

Dear, you are what I am not. You could cook.. ah the basic criteria. Just a suggestion honey, why don't you ease a bit on the salt.. and if you don't mind, sambal belachan is meant to be hot. And okay. I promise, I will not tinker with your pots and pans. But, if you need help in repairing loose screw at the cabinet, just holler. I'll come running arm with my Black & Decker power tool.

Honey, you have so much love in your heart that you generously give to those close to you. You are a gentle person, a person that I hope could change me from a temperamental to more calm person. I love that sultry voice of yours over the phone.Your barely there laugh, although sometimes I don't understand what you were saying because your voice is too soft. But not to offend you, I laugh too.

Dear, how would I live without you? Will you marry me?

"Piirah mabuk! Ko dah bengong ke apa?!"

Alaaa Zurd, jangan lah marah kat aku. Kalau aku lelaki, sure aku pinang ko. Mesti mak bapak ko terima aku dengan hati yang terbuka.. lalalala

Saturday, August 20, 2005


Born Salzburg, 27 January 1756; died Vienna, 5 December 1791.

Tak ada apa sebenarnya aku nak tulis pasal Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart or christened as Johannes Chrysostomus Wolfgangus Theophilus Mozart, cuma aku terjumpa balik gambar yang aku ambil sambil berdiri di atas "walk of fame" di Vienna, a few months ago.

While standing on that star, I was thinking. What kind of man Mozart was. I know that he was a genius. Well he wrote sonate, symphonies, sonatas, operas and such. Needless to say he was one of the world well known geniuses. Tapikan... actually, I was never into classical music hehehe. Some people say classical music is soothing, yes. It makes me sleepy. I need beat, not too hard. Rhythm so I could tap my fingers along. No, don't give me Punk, it made my head hurts. Heavy metal just not my cup of tea. Rock is okay. Just Rock Me Amadeus!


Im in that kind of mood again. The mood which strikes once a year. That No Feel Mode time.

A colleague said that I hardly smiled these days. Why?

"I don't see you smile lately. In fact, not even angry. Okay, maybe except last week when you were told to go to Shah Alam, last minute. Why?" She asked me.

I looked at her. Raised my shoulder. I don't know laa..

Yep, lately I noticed my lips failed to make any curves - be it negative or positive - no Anjal Tidak Sempurna. It is perpetually Anjal Sempurna - a long horizontal line across my face.

For a person whose life is mostly ruled by her turbulent emotions, this no feel mood is like a sabbatical period. A time where I, as the rental of this imperfect human body do not feel any emotional feelings toward anything. No happiness, no anger, no curiousity, no sad feeling.. but only a feeling of contentment. I am so content, so relief that no other emotions merit any showcases up front.

I guess my picture of the Star Of Amadeus summed up my feelings today. Standing on top of a star. Alone. Not feeling exhilarated but just contentment.

She tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Smile la sikit, your face won't crack. I promise..." She smiled at me. Encouragement.

I looked back at her. A quirk of lips. Small.. and getting bigger. Yes, I feel my muscle stretch. More. The miracle of muscle. It did not crack. Yeay!

Thursday, August 18, 2005

sebeban duit syilingku..

Aku off today.

Aku bawa sebeban duit syiling dalam beg plastik. Semua duit 50sen yang aku simpan dari tahun lepas. Aku tak nak lah bawak dalam tabung tong surat merah aku tu, nanti malu pulak nak letak kat atas kaunter.

Mula-mula aku pergi ke BC kat Setiawangsa.

"Bang, boleh masukkan duit syiling kat sini tak?"

"Boleh, nanti cek kat kaunter." Abang security guard pun tolong tanyakan kat cik adik di kaunter. Bisik-bisik, datang balik kat aku.

"Sorrylah kak.." (aku panggil dia abang, dia panggil aku kakak - ralat: kami bukan adik beradik)

"Mesin mengira kat sini rosak. Paling dekat akak pergi kat Melawati ataupun Ampang Point," kata security guard tu lagi. Aku tengok dia.. hm layak jadi pak aku plak.

Aku senyum jer kat dia dan tolak pintu kaca keluar. Bahu aku dah rasa berat sebabkan bungkusan duit syiling dalam beg.

Aku menapak pula ke bank yang ada ATM yang mengaku Kawan Aku yang sebenarnya sahabat kala ada duit dan sombong sungguh kalau balance cuma RM4.50.

Aku terus pergi kaunter, tanya cik yang comel pakai tudung dan baju kaler pink sedondon.

"Dik, boleh terima duit syiling tak?"

"Maaf kak, kami tak terima duit syiling hari ni," dia senyum kat aku. Bertambah manis.

Aku ucap terima kasih dan tolak lagi pintu kaca. Kat luar panas, tapi aku tak rasa panas sebab hati aku lebih terbakar dari kepanasan di luar yang bagi aku cuma suam-suam kuku.
Last bet aku ke KLCC. Aku dok pikir nak bawa keta ke nak naik LRT. Dok fikir orang tengah kerja mesti LRT kosong. Aku biar keta kat Setiawangsa dan terus menapak ke LRT station. Bahu aku rasa nak rebeh dek duit syiling aku nih.

Dalam LRT aku dok fikir sebab apalah aku collect duit syiling 50sen ini. Orang lain simpan duit singgit, aku simpan syiling 50sen je. Tapi bangga jugak lah sebab aku berjaya simpan duit syiling ni. Adalah RM200 lebih setahun aku simpan. Lagipun arwah Tok Ripin Felda Bershia yang buatkan ibu duit aku dari seketul duit syiling 50sen.

Aku terus ke BC. Aku approach lagi satu pakcik security guard. Aku tanya baik-baik..

"Encik, boleh simpan duit syiling kat sini?"

Senyum pakcik tu kat aku. "Boleh. Boleh. Adik ambik nombor ni, tunggu dia panggil ye." Lembut suara dia. Aku angguk. Terus duduk mengadap mesin yang display nombor kat atas.

Nombor aku dipanggil. Aku bangun. Aku angkat beg plastik. Bergerincing duit syiling aku bertabur atas lantai. Alahai! Beg plastik aku koyak. Aku nampak ada orang pandang aku sambil senyum. Kesian kot tengok aku yang terbongkok bongkok kutip duit syiling tu. Muka aku panas, tapi aku dari kelompok coloured people. Jadi hue tu tak lah menyerlang sangat ronanya (waduh! Bahasa apa yang aku pakai ni?)

Ada budak nak tolong. Aku cakap tak apa. Aku dah kutip semuanya masuk dalam beg plastik yang koyak pemegangnya. Aku hantar ke kaunter. Aku tengok adik kaunter tu berubah muka. Masam. Sebab kena kira duit syiling agaknya. Dia suruh aku duduk balik.

Sepuluh minit berlalu, dia panggil. Bagi slip customer kat aku. Dan aku ucap terima kasih.

Aku berlenggang keluar. Bahu aku tak rebeh lagi. Aku jeling kat slip. Tertera RM310.00.

Banyak juga duit aku ek?

Anyway for Along - Happy Birthday to you. Aku dah pokai. Kita kira lain kali lah ye?

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

run run run...

Lari! Lari! Langit dah nak runtuh!

Keadaan yang gelap kat luar mengingatkan aku tentang cerita kanak-kanak. Tadi baru aje borak dgn Sel and Shren pasal buku kanak-kanak. aku suka karya Enid Blyton tak kisahlah dalam bahasa inggeris ataupun dah diterjemahkan - Lima Sekawan - Si Gemuk dan kawan-kawan. Lepas khatam buku-buku adventure ni, aku mesti berangan. Nak jadi mata-mata gelap. Jadi private investigator, tapi sebab aku rabun dan kena pakai alat bantuan melihat, aku tak dapat jadi mata-mata gelap sebab mata aku cuma kelabu tak nampak (bukan kelabu warna - tak pakai contact lens berwarna pun).

Bila aku tengok anak-anak buah aku sekarang, diaorang ni semua macam tak ada sense of adventure. Asyik-asyik mengadap idiot box atau pun main games. Diaorang lebih kenal AF dan Malaysian Idol dari Enid Blyton Famous Five, Secret Seven, Hardy Boys ataupun Nancy Drew. Yang ajaibnya buku-buku ni ditulis berpuluh-puluh tahun dulu dan tetap menjadi favourite sepanjang zaman.

Mcm Enid Mary Blyton. Bagi aku dia penulis buku kanak-kanak yang paling prolifik sekali. Terima kasih lah pada emak dan abah yang memperkenalkan buku-buku dia pada aku. Dulu aku ada satu rak bersusun dengan buku ni. Seronok sangat bila abah beli the next book. Satu hari suntuk aku akan duduk baca. Kalau tak duduk baring, meniarap, bergolek atas katil. Akhir kata aku membaca gaya bebas.

Kalau habis baca aje, aku mesti berangan yang aku akan solve satu misteri. Ke mana hilangnya Toyol abah. (Toyol adalah nama yang abah beri pada ayam-ayamnya). Satu hari salah satu dari Toyol abah hilang. Dari sedozen tinggal 5. Masa makan tengahari, aku cerita dengan mak pasal kehilangan Toyol dan aku akan menyiasat kehilangan ayam itu. Mak angguk-angguk (dia tak geleng-geleng macam lagu tuh) sambil hulurkan aku seketul ayam goreng. Aku sambar aje dan antara kunyahan daging ayam tu, aku janji dengan mak misteri itu akan aku leraikan. Malangnya aku ada kakak yang jahat. Misteri Ayam Hilang diselesaikan di meja makan itu juga. Cis!

Bila era membaca buku misteri tenggelam, timbul pula buku cintan cintun Sweet Dream dan Sweet Valley High. Habis duit elaun aku untuk buku-buku ni. Sekarang masih ada lagi aku simpan, siap balut ngan plastik. Sayang pula nak buang. Buat wariskan pada nieces aku. Bila habis era sekolah aku naik selangkah lagi, Romance Books. Fuh! Thats where my real education begins hahaha. (Sekarang pun masih lagi di educate kan hehehe). Dari takat yang nipis-nipis terus ke tebal 400 muka. Tak tidur malam pun tak apa, pergi sekolah mengong-mengong pun tak apa. Yang penting aku habiskan malam tu juga sebab esok boleh pergi tukar dengan buku lain. Dekat tempat aku pergi tusyen, ada satu uncle jual buku terpakai. Aku rasa kalau tak ada uncle tu mesti aku tuang tusyen gak. Sebab cuma dia aje yang jadi pendorong aku pergi tusyen Tingkatan 3.

Sekarang aku dah luaskan pembacaan aku. Aku minat buku-buku travel plak. Bukan apa, kaki dah kemaruk nak berjalan. Aku asyik tenung paspot aku aje. Lagi tiga tahun nak expire. Cop baru tak de. Last destination aku Budapest. Orang sana pun dah nak mari sini, dan aku tak ke mana-mana lagi. Tak moh pergi Singapore sebab dah penuh dengan cap hijau republic tu. Boring tengok. Nak pergi Thai plak tak boleh, jerebu dah ditiupkan ke sana.

Bulan lepas time aku tak de kereta, aku naik LRT. Aku bawa buku nak hilangkan boring, tapi orang pulak dok jeling-jeling kat aku. Pasai apa? Sebab aku tak baca buku Dan Brown ke? Atau pun buku-buku yang gambar daring menghiasi cover depan? Salah ke aku baca buku War in Iraq? Aku muslim. Yes. Aku perempuan berhijab. Yes. Tapi aku bukan terrorist la.. Noooo...

p/s. Aku nak balik sekarang, tapi takut sangkut dalam jem. Dah la semalam kantoi satu solat... hish!

Tuesday, August 16, 2005


Biarlah kali ini entry di dalam bahasa ibundaku...

Sudahlah tak ada kerja diberi, buat-buat telefon pun, orang yang dicari tak ada. Bosan sungguh. Akhirnya aku dok melawat blog orang lain. Entah apa kebetulannya hari ini, hampir semua blog yang aku singgah, diaorang cerita pasal berhenti kerja. Is it a sign?

Tapi, aku memang dah berhenti kerja, cuma aku di tempat kerja untuk menghabiskan hari-hari sebelum aku go on leave. Yang tinggal 10 hari cuti. Bosan lagi. Hati memang dah tak sabar-sabar nak berhenti. Tapi macam biasalah tak de plan yang sungguh-sungguh. Gila aku nih.

Aku check balance account, ada RM10 ribu lebih. Alhamdulillah. Tapi aku rasa tahan beberapa minggu je kot. Ya lah, mana nak bayar hutang kredit kad, hutang rumah yang bertepek-tepek kat bank. Jangan bank ambik tindakan undang-undang kat aku sudahlah. Duit lagi tuh!

Tang kereta aku tak risau sangat, sebab kakak aku kata hubby dia maybe boleh sambung bayar. Yang lain tu lantaklah. Pandai-pandailah diaorang nak hidup. Aku? Pandai-pandailah aku nak hidup juga.


Jerebu dah kurang. Alhamdulillah.

Hari tu member aku ada cerita, bekas big big bos aku pernah ditanya untuk buat ramalan bila pilihanraya (2004). Dengan bangganya big big bos aku cakap..

"Well, its difficult to say. It can be any time. Depends on PM. Maybe next fall or winter."

Aku gelak besar bila dia cerita. Dia pun gelak besar sama. Tak sangka kat negara garisan Khatulistiwa ini ada musim luruh dengan musim sejuk. Kenapa aku tak pernah rasa musim sejuk?

"Susah apa Ny, kau nak rasa, kau duduk dalam freezer."

Aku gelak besar lagi.

La ni, bila aku tengok cuaca mungkin betul jugak kata bekas big big bos aku dulu, kita duduk dalam negara yang bermusim. Cuma satu musim dia tak sebut- Musim Jerebu.

Kita salahkan Indon sebab bakar hutan untuk pertanian, tapi kita tak tahu entah-entah mereka gelakkan kita juga. Sebab? Dengar khabar, tanah-tanah itu semua kepunyaan syarikat-syarikat dari Malaysia. Jadinya kita bakar dan kitalah yang tanggung asapnya. Iya ke?

Tapi, memang sesak gak nafas aku minggu lepas. Tiga kali pergi Shah Alam, akhirnya jumaat lepas aku surrender bila balik dari PJ. Aku semput. Nafas aku pendek-pendek dan kepala aku yang selalu tak cukup oksigen bertambah lapar dengan O2. Akhirnya aku rasa macam hallucinating? Takut aku plak jadi the next casualty dari opis aku nih.

Seronok aku bila Allah anugerahkan hujan yang sangat lebat hari Ahad lepas. Habis bilik aku basah sebab aku lupa tutup tingkap, tapi tak apa. Yang basah boleh di mop, macam Allah mopkan udara yang penuh dengan habuk dan partikel-partikel yang dibawa terbang angin dari tanah yang terbakar di Sumatera. Aku memang suka hujan, dulu kini dan selamanya. Lagi lebat hujan lagi aku suka. Memang aku rasa aku dah tak berapa nak betul.

Walaupun hujan sangat lebat, aku teruskan gak plan keluar ngan Zurd. Dia datang rumah naik kereta, parkir kat tempat aku pas tu naik kereta aku plak. Kami ke Taman TUN. Sebab? Aku nak bayar hutang kredit kad. Nampak pulak Pizza Hut. Hmm.. nampaknya disitulah lunch dan dinner aku. Keluar dari Taman TUN, cuaca aku tengok segar sangat. Akhirnya aku gantung dust mask aku kat rear view mirror. Jadi hiasan. Jadi peringatan. Jerebu mungkin datang balik.

Bosan sungguh...

ingat, ni.. maybe kena pakai balik

Thursday, August 11, 2005

hazy triumph

I can't claim victory yet, but my attempt to change this blog template and put banner by my own has shown glimmer of success. Not bad for first attempt. Telling myself a bit more.. just a bit more..

My eyes started to water when I finished putting up the banner. I don't know whether it is because I stared too long on the windows or because of the haze outside. It is getting worse by the seconds. We can't see the nearby TNB building from our office on the fourth floor. A friend said that it looks like snow season. True in visual sense but the thermometer level did not go down instead continue to climb up. It may be hazy but it is stifling.

A friend came and handed me dust mask. Thank you Hal! It was bearable to sit here inside the office building. The aircondition is working finely, not like a few months ago when we only rasa hujung-hujung saja kesejukan penghawa dingin di opis ni. This time, the temperature is constant, but why ya.. my plant seems to be layu-ing?

We had our first haze casualty today. Ritz who was in Shah Alam felt dizzy while in the line of duty. Kesian dia. It was worse in Klang compared to KL. I know. I was there yesterday and again today. Got a call informing me on sudden conference in SUK Shah Alam. After I had my dose of profanities (uh uh.. have to stop the bad habit!), I shot all the way to Shah Alam. Lucky the traffic was not so bad but the haze was getting thicker and thicker when approaching Shah Alam. I was thinking that if Shah Alam is this bad, what about Klang?

True enough, Klang reached the Emergency level yesterday. API (Air Pollution Index) has reached more than 500. Emergency Order would definitely be declared. (Yes, Pak Lah has already issued the Emergency declaration just now).

Aiseymen, tak bawa kamera to capture the hazy scenery...

Monday, August 08, 2005

of Malay and arts

Malay architechture always fascinated me. At the Artist Village, the concept of Rumah Melayu was really a feast to the eyes. I like the intricate designs at the rooftops and I wish I have very good camera to take its picture. Well, I have just to be content with my digital and more creative in taking the pictures I wanted.

We cannot find these kind of carvings and intricate design at modern Malay house. In fact even my grandma's house in Johor was no longer adorned with these beautiful arts. The only ones lefts are maybe a few in Malacca. Nowadays no houseowners wanted to retain this old seni, they are more into modern looks. Oh! How I missed these beautiful artistic carvings. I forget though, what its call.


We met Ajis Mohamad at his stall in the Artist Village. He was finishing a big underwater scenery for a client from Miri, Sarawak. He was excited to see us. Mona and Nab known him as they have interviewed him before. This was my first time meeting Ajis who is one of the three world underwater artists. His works are well known internationally. In fact he is so famous that even his reprint cost around RM100. So when we asked how much he got for the underwater painting, he just smiled modestly. Of course it could go up to staggering RM300,000.

The watercolour and arcylic painting is 30% completed. But what awed us that the painting is 90 % from his imagination. All the reefs are painted from his imagination and observation while diving in many diving spots in the country. He only use reference to paint the fishes. He said he had another two months to complete the painting. Ajis felt he is one of the lucky few to get to do what he like and earn a living. Nowadays painters could make a good living from paintings. I guess people appreciate arts more like they used to do. But, whatever the reason, I really like Ajis's painting. It was .. alive.

One of these days, I would love to bring dad to Karyaneka and just walk along the footpaths at the Artist Village and watching them at work or looking at their paintings. Or just simply sit back at one of the wakaf enjoying the Keronchong songs.

KL eh KL

Kuala Lumpur on the weekend can be stifling. Streets are filled with cars, people flocking the shopping complexes like there are no other places to go. If not because of Zain's wedding reception, I would not have stepped out from the house. But, I promised Mona to go with her and Nab. She also promised to drive, so it would not be so bad.

Anyway the reception is held at a community hall in Taman Melati, just about 15 minutes away drive from my house and I have no other excuses not to go because Zain himself called to invite me for the reception and he was my colleague during my brief stint in JB. And I really want to see him and his bride.

Mona came in his dad's Vios and we shot to Taman Melati. Of course a bit of sesat here and there. Two servings of delicious nasi beriyani with beef curry, chilli chicken, achar and washed down with Siren (sirap oren) and polished off with kuih bunga kemboja and slices of watermelon. Yummy. Spent time chit-chatting with the newly wed and friends who came down from JB to attend the reception and off we go to Projet for both Mona and Nab to change into the second persalinan. Its merambu time!

Since there was no proper plan, we spent time driving aimlessly along the MRR2. It was either Alpha Angle for the Melayu-type shopping complex or visiting a friend who was suffering from Cancer in HUKM. In the end we turned to Jalan Ampang to KLCC. It was a big mistake! The road in front of the famous landmark in KL was jammed packed. All the parking areas were full. All the lepak places were filled with "international tourists". We were speechless and Mona had no other choice but to drive around to Jalan Pinang with hope to find at least half empty parking lot near the Mandarin Oriental. Unfortunately it was a futile attempt. I repeat, all the parking lots are full! And it was all because of PC Fair at the KLConvention Centre.

In the end, we decided to look at local handicraft in Karyaneka at Jalan Conlay. It was my first time there and the place was almost deserted except for a few tourists who browsed looking at simple and authentic yet expensive handicraft. There was no hassle to find empty parking bays because all the bays outside the building were empty. In fact, it was easily to just drive inside the compound and park the car there.

After browsing all those impractical knick knacks we went to the artists village behind the main building. There were a group of professional musicians playing keronchong songs at the main wakaf surrounded by small wooden artists shops.

The music was soothing eccentuated the calmness of the surrounding with old big trees shading the area. Walking along the footpath in the artist village makes one forget that you are in the middle of the city surrounded by sky scrapers. It just so detached from the hustle and bustle of KLCC area!

Wednesday, August 03, 2005


My second Timex lasted for 10 years before I lost it. I've changed the wrist band four times. From the original leather band to the metal bands.

I love my Timex although the Indiglo was broken and the glass face was full with scratches. I first bought Timex watches when I was in Form Six. It cost only RM60 and at that time was the "funkiest" watch that I can afford.

While my friends opted for Swatch, I was content with my Timex. It may not as expensive or trendy as Swatch watches but I love my Timex with its black nylon band and black face with red colour hands showing the hour, the minutes and the second. It was practical analog watch. It lasted about two years before it went kaput on me and I saw one under the same brand name sold at a small watch shop in Jalan Silang.

It was on display with other "brothers and sisters" in a rectangular box. One caught my eyes. It was not funky nor trendy. It was normal regular looking white face and bround leather band watch, but what set it apart was the sign - "Indiglo". I knew then and there it would be my first Indiglo watch and I gladly parted with my RM150 for that watch. The money that I had just received as my second month salary eight hours before.

Last year during rainy season, I was in a hurry to get out of the car. I had a few plastics of stuff that I had just bought from the Jaya Jusco Taman Universiti, Skudai. I just hang everything on my left wrist and used my right hand to push open the door, slammed it and use the remote control to lock my MsWira. I did not realised that my Timex was no longer secured on my left wrist. It was gone. Permanently.

I was actually moody when I realised that I lost that Timex. That wrist watch who was the witness of my terbulent life, the one that I thought would never leave me. The Timex who had faithfully showed me the time when I was here in the beloved country or traipsing across Europe. I remembered the last time I bought the new battery for the watch was in March 2003 in Hull. It cost me GBP7 at that time.

Then, I vowed not to buy any wrist watch except Timex brand although how tempted it would be. There would be no Swatch, Citizen or even Alba. I couldn't bear to put any watch on my wrist except my beloved Timex brand. I felt that I would be cheating if I fasten Citizen, Raldo or dad's favourite Rolex on my left wrist. Lucky, I got free watches when I went for Immigration raid on illegal Chinese peddler a few days later. I got a free Bozen metal watch which lasted until last month.

Last week, Sis told me to send her to clinic for medical check up today. I picked her up and send her (part of duty for being the younger sister). She flashed me her brand new Titus watch. Pretty, I told her. Said she bought it at Sunway Pyramid. I knew that was the sign. I need a new watch. My wrist has been bared for the past 31 days. I need to buy myself a watch but it would not be any watch. It would be a new Timex. Haze or no haze...

By the end of the day, I got my new Timex Expedition Indiglo WR50m. I love it!

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

old friends

Dear friends
Its been 14 years and I thought I would not recognise you. How wrong I was. You have changed. Yes. Maybe physically because underneath, you are still the same.

A few months ago RZDee informed me through email that some ex-school mates are planning for reunion. It would be the first alumni and I was excited. I looked for old photos of my friends, my classmates since Form One and tried to imagine how they woud look like now. How many are married, with kids, divorced or swinging singles. I remembered some of their nicknames - Nan, Ayin, Lizal, Sotong, Nani, Nit, Madz, McGyver, Herni, Nora.. and the list goes on.

I could not believe it that I was actually berdebar-debar that day. Since morning I was contemplating - should I go early or should I be fashionably late? Should I go with friends or should I go alone? This is worse then going for a blind date. But, I was excited to meet my friends.

That morning, my hp buzzed.

"Eh! Kita kena pakai baju kurung ke? Ish! I was thinkin' of wearing blouse and pants"
It was from Madz.

So, I replied..
"Aik? Pakai baju kurung? Reunion ke kenduri kahwin? Skemanya. Me just wear jeans and blouse"

"You get that one correct. hahaha"

By 1.30pm I was already heating up MsWira's engine. This "girl" has been very notty. She played in dirt and now her gleaming supple body is covered with dirt and grime, and me so busy, got no time to bathe her. Hish! Teruknya, going for reunion and your friends would see how dirty your car is.. but tak apalah, then they would know how busy your single life is, sampai tak ada masa nak hantar kereta to be washed.

Zurd and I decided to go on separate cars because she would have to pick up her younger sister in Gombak, so after Zohor prayer, we left her house to our old school. Yep! Our inaugural alumni is held at the school's hall.

My heart fluttered when I passed the school's gate. It brought back too many sweet memories. The times when we tried to sneak out, cheering our football team, or simply berbondong-bondong balik macam itik pulang petang. There are a lot of changes in that school. It has three blocks now but that extra pertukangan wooden block is still there. I wonder whether they are still doing the free chair repairing service for the school hehehe.

The old bicycle shelter was removed to make way for the new dewan. There was no new shelter for the two-wheelers. Are the new generation no longer cycle to school anymore? Are all of them sent by parents in big cars? The small taman was also no longer there. But there is a small "Wakaf Warisan" for school children to sit and discuss. The canteen is now better looking, more organised complete with tables draped in red cloths. Macam boleh buat mesyuarat U*n0.

I parked my car right opposite the hall's entrance and just sat there watching the ex-students greeting each other at the registration counter. Dah lama sangat and I only recognised a few faces. People who have left their marks in my heart.

I was greeted by a familiar face but I don't remember her name. I smiled at her and asked her name. Then a guy approached me and smiled.

"Hi, Assalamualaikum. Remember me?" he asked.

I laughed. Nervous. I don't remember his name. "I remember your face!"

"I know your name. Its you right? You have not changed a bit except of course...."

I smiled. Of course. There was no reduction, always expandition. Then someone called his name. Huda. Yes! I remember him. He was always with another boy Hakim. Our very own "Judge"!.

We stepped inside the hall. There were tables and chairs. Yep! It looked more like kenduri kahwin. There were those who came with spouses and some with children. Some were seen pushing trams while a few women were heavily pregnant.

The atmosphere inside the hall was cheerful. Children were running around the hall while moms and dads chatting away. Remembering the old days. I joined Madz, Herni who came with her nine-months old cute baby girl, Nora who brought her eldest daughter, Miss McGuyver-chatty as always. Then came Mar with her three beautiful children and drama-actor-look husband. I talked with Kak Naz who is the younger sister of the actor-Shaharuddin Thambi. Mon, who was one of the organising committee member.

I saw my old sweet dream boys - Carrey, Wan Chic, and of course the one and only Ayin, who was my best friend during Scouts heyday. Ayin, the boy who was ever willing to help us girls. Playful, charming and still maintain "handsome" now is married and the father of a cute baby girl, Hana. Except Ayin, I wondered what make me fall for these boys hahaha.

Well, the event may not be well organised. But the efforts to bring back more than 100 1991 school leavers was what matters. It was not easy to contact us, but Im sure the next alumni, the organiser would be able to get more ex-SMTT to attend the function. Thanx to the cikgus who are still there and dedicating their lives in educating the next generations. Cikgu Razak, you are a Scout through and through.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

I did it!

It really took me sometime to finally do it. My fingers were cold, my body shivered. My heart raced like I've just completed a mini-marathon. I read and reread. Ops there were a lot of grammar mistakes. I re-write and made another four printouts. I put it in envelopes and wrote all the names requird on each of them. I started on the fifth floor, dropped one on the in-tray and another handed over to the secretary. Went down to the fourth floor and gave the rest to "him". Stood there and answered a few questions with phony smile plastered on my face. Then the last but not the least, to the man sitting there, who would every morning hand over my share of assignments.

Yes! I finally did it! I finally handed over my resignation letter yesterday.

It came as a surprise to some, but most of my colleagues knew I am leaving. But, nobody really believed that I would actually do it. Done. I myself still could not believe that I even have the courage to finally hand over my resignation letter. What am I going to do next? How would I survive?

You see, "Without a plan, goals are merely hopes and dreams.." yep! that is me. But mine is more on no back-up plan. I quit without any back-up plan. Gosh! Sometimes nope most of the time I feel like Im jumping into the pool heads on. The bad news is - I don't even know how to swim!

My next desk neighbour called me determine. She said when I decide to be lazy, I can be REALLY lazy, but when I had decided to do something, I would set my mind and just do it. Is that me? Do I have that trait? Because what I do know is, I can be very hard headed. Has it got to do with the way I was brought up?

When I was little, I would pester my dad if I want something, let say a toy, a study table, a bicycle... and my dad, a man with vision, who would never disappoint his little girl, would buy - a RM2 toy, a sturdy ugly-looking study table that can last for 20 years and a bicycle that can carry Yusni Jaafar at the back-carrier seat. I guess in a way, these "training" by my dad had toughen me up, physically (of course after years of cycling that big black bicycle) and emotionally (err..). Of course to a person who would like to day dream how her new bicycle would look like, I was very disappointed to see a big black mass of steel called bicycle in front of the house. So, I grew up thinking that if I want it done my way, I have to do it on my own.

Was I a troubled kid? I have to ask my mom about it. A troubled teenager? Well my Sijil Berhenti Sekolah said Im a so so student. A troubled adult? Ah... I have a feeling I am since the songs that I like have "troubled lyrics". You know what they say - Hanya Manikam mengenal Permata - or something like that. Right after I finished school, I want to lead my own life. I want to be independent, I want to earn my money so that I don't have to depend on my parents for pocket money. I hated the idea that I have to stand the interrogation just for mere RM10. So, when I got my first pay as a sales promoter for a certain sports product, I was brain-less. I have RM400 in my hand and my mind went blank, did not know how to spend that money. My hands were itchy to buy something - anything. Yet, I don't know what. I was so spoiled with the folds of the RM50s in my hand. Well, it just took me a few hours, after that it was "belanja kawan-kawan", treat my family with another makan and bought a pair of new socks. By the next month, I am an expert of spending money already.

If I can visualise my brain and transmit it to a satellite tv, it would look like two fish going bonkers in a tiny glass tank...


I know I promised to blog regularly. That rambling about anything should be a therapeutic instead I broke my promise and failed to update my blog. Cheh!

About two weeks ago, I was car-less. My road tax expired and was too lazy to renew it, of course was also "kopak" to renew the insurance too. So, to simplify things, I took our famous public transport to work. From home I took the feeder bus to the LRT station, took the LRT to Bangsar and the last few kilometres to the office, I walked.

After so long of driving alone and hate the idea of car-pooling, I totally forgot the experience of taking public transportation in the capital city of Malaysia. How I missed taking the bus when it is full with school children. The "tungkik" smell during the evening rush hours in contrast with "toilet freshness" of too much parfum spray in the morning. But, one thing I had observed and still do was Malaysian still prefer to daydream, staring aimlessly or thingking too deep (tido ler) instead of reading the free Sun newspaper. Well, we are still way back in reading culture I guess.

I love the one-kilometre walk from the LRT station to my office. Watching the turtles (tung-tung, tortoise - I don't know which) swimming in the murky pond near the TNB HQ, the homeless guy who was always sleeping on the bench at the bus stop and yeah! Almost got mowed down when crossing the street.

Overall, I did enjoyed my ride on public transports. I had my Touch and Go and I can stop at any stations. I can go to buy books at KLCC or makan Mc Donalds at Ampang Park. I enjoyed the banter between the school children, listening to ramblings, rolling my eyes at "budak sekolah" couples who just can't wait to grow up and others who just still enjoy being school kids in school uniforms.

I found it more relaxing taking LRT and bus or even walking to office rather then driving although the air-conditioning in my Proton Wira Aeroback 1.5 Automatic is still working full blast and with a full basket of tapes (no CD, still old tapes) to entertain me.

Now, I have renewed my car's insurance and road tax. I am no longer car-less. The car is no longer collecting dust at the level 15 of the parking area. I am now too mobile that I can just start the engine and go anywhere I want to go (within M'sa jer la).

I miss my public transport.

Saturday, June 18, 2005

exercise or what?

For the past 11 years working, I guess I have changed houses eight times. Not bad for a modern Badouin hehehe. Of all the places that I have stayed, the Bukit Kerinchi apartments left many fond memories to us. Besides the 3Gs experiences, there we learnt to deal with burglars, polices, lazy security guards, mamat skodeng, necking couple - ringan-ringan, berat-berat and the last but not the least - horny guy who masturbated in the middle of the night. Such colourful characters and to quote Astro - macam-macam ada...

It was not like I go and looked for these demented people. It always happened when I was minding my own business and then wham! bam! I saw things that I was not supposed to see. Of course I did some double or err sometimes triple take but it was all out of curiousity.. I promise! hehehehe Like the incident where I “accidently” saw this mamat who was rigorously doing some “exercise”. Well, at first I thought he was doing exercise... I didn’t know that emm.. he was emm.. doing other type of exercise.

It started off with me pondering my life at the balcony of my then rented apartment on the fourth floor. It was already late at night and I was deep in thought (no.. not asleep) kinda thinking whether to go on with this long distance relationship that I was in. At the same time, it was my last nite. I was about to leave for my Bali trip on the morning. So I had mixed feelings that night, kind of down a bit but still excited for the trip. So while pondering my eyes strayed. Looking but not really seeing (?) when suddenly my two eyeballs caught a very active movement on the ninth or seventh floor of the apartment next to mine.

I thought.. wah! So rajin this mamat, exercising at night. Then I looked at the empty parking building in front, looking at KL skyline at night. Then the movement on that apartment unit caught my eyes again. My brain started functioning. Then I started to focus. No!!! That mamat definitely was not exercising. He was doing something else!!! And he was doing it standing in his living hall facing the balcony with sliding door open! Yuck!!! But then.. hmmm.. this is definitely fascinating. Adoi!

So, I ran inside the house, roused my dearest friend El and told her what happened. Luckily, we had already switched off all the lights. (at that time mana ada Astro lagi!) and started to hide behind the sliding door curtain to watch the emm.. blue show or was it kuning? Anyway, there we were, huddled behind the curtain with little opening for two pairs or eyeballs to see. So fascinated with the exercise regime that was being conducted.

Ok, the guy himself was nothing to shout about. We can’t see his face clearly and he was flashing his other parts to the world. Body eleh! Boroi. Potruding belly. He was kinda a big guy. Anyway, none of us would have noticed him even if we rub shoulders with the guy on the street.

El whispered to me whether the man would noticed that we were skodeng-ing him, but I replied that our house was already dark, that he may not see us. We dared not laugh out loud moreover roll down and laugh out loud (yeah! I wonder why). So, we just giggled. Put hands on our mouth and giggled. It was a rigorous exercise, I assumed. Because, the man sometimes squat, sometimes stand up. He would bent forward and sometimes bend backwards. All these he did in front of the sliding door with lights on brightly.

From behind the curtain in the living room, we changed spot. This time in El’s bedroom, but we did not get a clear view of all the actions. From there we went to my bedroom which we supposed to be able to see him clearly. But there is one problem, he can also see us. So, back to the living room we went. There, we continued to giggle and whispered to each other. Discussing techniques and wondering who were his other (un)fortunate audiences.

However, one thing I salute about this horny mamat. He carried on for almost two hours with in-between rests. (Rest assured, we did not spent the whole nite watching him. I was packing. I was supposed to start my holiday in Bali, remember?). I was surprised that neither me nor El had ketumbit in our eyes for watching things that we were not supposed to see, ahaks! We slept around 1am that night and I had to wake up very early to catch a flight from Subang Airport to Denpasar-Bali. So, I went for my five-days frolicking under the sun and catching the waves (iyalah tu, I can’t even swim!), but we did had great fun in Bali. After that week fun and once back at home - El gave me the full report of the (none)strings of events that happened on that “marked apartment”.

El said he was on for the whole week until the day I came back. He stopped. Good for him! I don’t think after seeing all the beautiful bods (topless of course) lying on the pristine white beach sun baking ops bathing, I can’t stand watching err.. the guy with boroi stomach, doing bend regime hehehehe

Anyway I don’t know what happened with the horny mamat because the house was empty after that.

hantu mu, two!

All this while, I always thought that the 3G - nope, not the latest craze in the comm technology, mine is still the Z200 Sony Ericsson. But the Ghost, Ghouls and Goblins thingy would emerged once the sun sets and moon rises.

Well, a few years back, I discovered that the myth that you can only see ghost at night is not true. Back when I was staying at the Bukit Kerinchi (the famous apartment which was featured in NTV7 Edisi Siasat before), the ghosts made their presence felt not only during the darkness of the night but also during the broad daylight.

Our apartment unit was facing the LRT station, situated on the eight floor. Since there were only the three of us, we decided to take a room each and no sharing. And as I was the most miskin tenant, I took the smallest room. Still I was quite happy with the room because it was breezy, cool and cozy.

All three of us were in different industry, the one took the master bedroom was a lawyer, the second room was occupied by a exhibition booth designer and the third room was me. As both of them have normal off days during the weekend, I was left home alone during weekdays if my off days fall on that days.

It was during these days that I experienced unexplained experiences.. (tu dia!). Dee, my lawyer friend would normally closed and locked her bedroom door when she left for work. But, there were a few incidences when I was sitting down in front of my room doing some paper cuttings or other stuff that I did there, I would see shadows throught the slit between the door and floor of a person walking to and fro the attached bathroom. Then I would get annoyed with Dee.. Oh! Off and locked yourself inside the room ya?I would knocked her door and called her name but there was always no response. “She” would keep very quite. I would give up and continued do my stuff or go out or anything. And by 6pm I would here someone opened the main door and Dee would call “Assalamualaikum!” I would annoyedly asked her why she locked herself inside the bedroom and she would tell me that she was out in court the whole day. Huh? Then who was in there earlier?

It was not the only incident. Sometimes middle of the night we would hear “someone” bathing inside the bathroom. It was very masculine bathing not the feminine type one - gedebush! gedebush! Amboi! But, we never felt afraid when any of us was left at home alone. Sometimes we joked about it, that the ghost that shared our house was very “pembersih”. Always taking a bath and yeah! I forgot, always clipping it nails (what a long nails you got there hehehe).

Then there was one night when my other friend El came running out from her room, knocked frantically on my door in the middle of the night. She yelled my name and I with bleary eyes opened the door (I hate sleeping with open door be it room door or closet. Everything must be shut properly except my windows of course. I am afraid of monster creeping out from the closet hahaha). Anyway, she demanded me to open the door and because she said she saw an old lady crouching between the ceiling fan blade and the ceiling. Aik? Ok. That night both of us sleeping with doors wide open.

One night we sort of change notes, telling each other our bizzare experiences. Then Dee told us hers. She was sleeping one night, when she saw a shadow moving at the side window. She ignore, then she heard a voice telling her to go to the balcony. She said she was like in a trance and just follow what the voice told her to do. When she snapped out of it, she found out that one of her feet was already dangling over the balcony railing. She immediately went inside and locked the sliding door. We thought, no wonder Dee always re-arranging the furniture in her bedroom.

Dee once invited me to sleep in her room. So I slept on her bed while she on the floor. That night I heard someone screaming into my ears but I was too sleepy to bother and ignored the shrilling voice. Only the next morning I told Dee what happened. Dee said “she” must be angry because I was sleeping on the bed.

Besides all these unexplained incidents, we continued living in the apartment because we like each other company and also the strategic location. However, our landlord decided to increase the monthly rental so we decided to move out. Dee was getting married and El and I just could not afford to pay for the rentals and were not interested to find other tenants.

When we moved into the apartment on the first place, we knew that the former tenant was not a Muslim. In fact she was a pious Buddhist. We had done what we could to “cleanse” the house, but I guess “it” was there before us and maybe before the tenant before us (duh!) and was reluctant to leave. We then decided to co-exist.

Only after we moved out from the apartment, we kept repeating the stories with each other and laughed it out. Dee said the ghost must be frustrated with us because none of us had ran, screaming and shivering except for that one incident with El.

Anyway, whenever I drive near the area, I would automatically looked up at our former apartment and wonder whether the current tenants experience what we had experienced before. Curiously, most of the time, I saw that the apartment unit seems to be..empty.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

bad dog!

The owner of the dogs that mauled Muhammad Hazman Seh Zahidi was charged with negligence, yesterday. Its either 6months jail or RM2,000 fine. Alaaa.. RM2k only, Im sure the guy being a successful salesman, can easily pay the fine and his life will be back to normal.

But, I was thinking, why dog owners such as this Chong Foo Meng can be so.. irresponsible. These people are just not fit to own dogs.

They see their neighbours got dog, they also want a dog. To show off, they got two dogs. Hey! Since dogs are our best friends, why not keep dogs that can protect our house. Never mind that they bark incessently day and night. Ah... no need to bath them regularly, water tariff gone up now la. No, don’t chain the dogs, then how la to chase bad people. No, don’t close the gate too, let the dogs out. They need their afternoon walk. Oh never mind, the dogs know their way back homes. The rottweilers are very intelligent. That is why they are very expensive. Since they are very intelligent, they definitely can find their way back. Worth my money buying them lor!
Let them bark, let them run, good exercise. We are safe. Don’t let them eat too much otherwise they will be fat and lazy. No more agile. Cannot chase bad people anymore. Let them go out. Let them run. Let them chase people. Let them maul Muhammad Hazman Seh Zahidi. Because the worst that we got was only a miserable RM2,000 fine and lost a dog. Never mind. Have money can pay. Have money can buy new dog. Hic!

I remember the time when I was chased by a dog. It was a normal afternoon and I was about seven or eight. We had just moved to the new neighbourhood and I had just made new friends. At that time it was an adventure for me to cycle (on my basikal chopper) around with the new friends. It was like marking my territory.

I was cycling happily with my two friends - one sitting on the palang in front, another at small carrier at the back while I was the one cycling. (They don't have bicycles at that time - but I was just too happy to be their "cycler"). We were chatting happily and then I realised that we have already encroached into another creature's territory.

There was a pack of dogs barking at each other. They were about six or seven adult dogs. The brownish dogs with curved tails. I thought that since we were only passing by, we would be ok. Oh no! One dog saw us and may be mistaking my legs that cycling the pedals frantically as another drum stick or lamb leg kot! A dog started chasing me, I started paddling faster. Faster. And Faster.

He jumped. Plunged his fang into my thigh and let go. I was more in shock than in pain. We abandoned our plan to jalan-jalan keliling kampung and go back straight. I sent the two and headed home. Straight into my room and try to look at the damage. True enough, there was one fang hole in my thigh, but fortunately, there was no blood. Still shaking. Now more afraid of my mom scoloding me than the hole.

The duo later came to my house. Told my mom what happened. Uh! Uh! Bad news. Got scolded for the cycling incident. She told my dad what happened. Badder news. He "samak" me and the clothes that I wore then later dragged me to the clinic. Got a jab on my bum. Baddest news!

So now, when I saw a dog.. bad dog bad dog bad dog

hantu mu!

I love backtracking... this is one of them.

Ghost, ghouls, goblins (notice all starts with S?) or hantu or anything that can't be seen with naked eyes.. always got me fascinated. I guess thanks to my former bureau chief, I got hooked up with ghost stories. Yep, he is an avid ghost stories reader. He likes to watch ghost movies or any material on the "other side of the world". There are many websites that had became my favourite haunt and here too.

Since I had inflicted the desease from him, I got fascinated with the other world creatures too. A few years back I got hooked with a reality tv programme "Scariest Places on the Earth - hosted by Linda Blair" aired on AXN channel. I tried to imagine myself being one of the participants who were sent to investigate paranormal activities at old castle, mansions or run-down houses. I probably the first person to run out of the house. To heck with investigation! I would say.

Being a scatty-cat and sometimes scatterbrain person that I am.. (see what I mean), I am brave only when watching horror film (while holding my friend's hand of course), reading stories on the net(with cursor constantly pointing on other window in case the drame heightens) or books (when I can close it immediately). Of course, when out of ordinary things happened to me, I was too blur to even noticed.

Thinking back, I remembered that I actually experienced a few paranormal things. It happened when I was in Standard One and another when I went backpacking in Rome and Madrid a few years ago. Hmm.. I guess the timing was all wrong. These paranormal creatures decided to "sakat" me when I was either trying my best to hold my bladder or was too sleepy to bother. So by the next day, I was too confused to comprehend what I saw and experienced. Hmm..

So now the Discovery Channel had come up with another "unexplained" programme - True Horror. The first episode was last nite showed about the exorcism, about a woman, I dont remember where and when (that scatterbrain kicked in that time) who was possesed by a demon and brought to a church to be exorcist. She spent two months before the demon/satan finally decided to let go the woman's body. Eyewitness said they saw black smoke coming out from the woman's mouth. Entahler...

Anyway, the series are entertaining and this would be another of my favourite series after the "Scariest places on Earth" and later the CSI three cities (menipu jer semua nih). Anyway since I need more entertainment (and I can't stand the TNA wrestling and other yg sewaktu dgnnya) I stick to horror and scary movies. Plus the tipu CSI three cities.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

hijab and topless

Is it difficult to wear hijab?

I never really thought of the huge significant for a woman to wear hijab. I was raised to accept that Muslim women should wear hijab after akil baligh (reaching puberty). It is just one of the things that we have to do. Cover our heads. Or so I thought.

For several years I have been wearing hijab, tudung or scarf like Im wearing my normal clothes. It was part of my school uniforms since Standard Three - the year my mother went to perform her Hajj. It has been on my head ever since, until after I left Form Six.

Then, I realised that although the scarf that covered my head is so light that if you did not pinned it properly it would fly with the wind, the responsibility that it potray is huge. There is always the hidden rule that I have to follow. I have to act decently while my “topless” friends can go berserk. Although we are wearing the same uniform i.e t-shirts and jeans, but because of my covered head, I always felt that I was left out in their night rendezvous. At that time, I felt that I was not “modern” enuff, not hip enuff because of the tudung. I hated it when people looked at me and thought that I am a baik baik girl, while inside I longed to be jahat. To go dancing at discos, to hell with what people thought.. I wanna live!!

So, I retaliated, I threw my scarf right after I landed this job. A job which required me to almost try everything. I did what I wanted to do. I went partying, dancing and disco hopping almost every week. But then I realised that I don’t really found the joy from what I was doing. Instead I always feel tired after that rigorous exercises. So it only lasted for a year. I guess, because of the self-righteneous that have been drilled into me by my mom, I found myself reaching for that piece of cloth on my 22nd birthday.

Now, wearing a hijab is not an issue to me anymore. Until that fateful day of Sept 11, 2001. Cis! I had to take off my hijab when travelling to certain countries. The reason.. I don’t want to be the centre of attention. Once was enuff (when we were stopped at Paris Charles de Gaulle airport). I just hope that Allah gave me strenght to face every obstacle in my life, in my heart. Pray that I stay hijab.

Saturday, June 11, 2005

the pain in the... bum

So what do you call the pain in the butt?

Arse hole?

Not quite right, but close enuff.The pain is not really on the butt literally but on the tailbone or coccyx. So the tailbone pain or coccyx pain is called coccygodynia. It is so annoying that a common name (for me at least) is a pain in a butt. And when it becomes too painful, mind you, I can be an arse hole. There!

Actually what I found in the Net about coccygodynia is quite frightening. Most of the pain caused by falling backward (like I did) or childbirth (not yet). What I read is that it is five times more common in women than men, probably because the female pelvis leaves the coccyx more exposed. It appears that in most cases the pain is caused by an unstable coccyx, which causes chronic inflammation. Adoi!

Anyway, it was a looooong explanation on diagnose, painful areas, how to lessen the pain and so on. But what scares me is there is no actual cure on this. There were some patients who had to have injections to lessen the pain. Use U-shape pillow to sit and some other aide to help ease the pain.

After almost a month since that fateful day, I still could not have a decent night sleep. Everytime I turn to change position (I am very violent sleeper toss and turn every time the whole night) I would experience a pull on my butt. Sakit la.. sampai terjaga. Then I would have problem to fall asleep again.

My friend suggested that I should go berurut at my butt area. But then I still a bit afraid because what if the pain become worse after berurut. Further more I am a penggeli. I can’t have people touch me. The only area that I would allow people to touch me are my hands fingers to wrist and on my shoulder.. only the shoulder please. Other parts Sorry! Don’t even dream of putting your fingers there. What more my butt!

Hish! The pain of being me!

Thursday, June 09, 2005


I got too much work and too much leisure time that merit for an OT today.

It was already 8.30pm and some of my colleagues were watching the Diary Akademi on Astro. (yeah we got Astro in the office with all channels except the cartoon channels hahaha).

Our flamboyant colleague JL (JLo? naaa.. although sometimes he does act like a spoil entertainer) was hungry and asked around if anybody would like to share for a McD take out. Offer was immediately took up and orders were shouted from every corner of this big office.

Somebody asked for Quarter Pounder.

"What?!" JL shouted back.

"I want Quarter Pounder Meal." came the response.

"You want the kote pounder?!" JL laughed out.

No response.

Ouch! Must be one heck of painful burger!

A half an hour later, the aroma of burgers and fries fill the room. I guess that someone finally got his kote ops quarter pounder...

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

good news and bad news

I got good news and bad news today.

The good news, I was called to the Bigger Boss office today. Accepted a letter. Opened it. Oh thanks. I got a promotion. Yep! I got a promotion. What? A promotion? Alamak! I realised that I got a raise too... hoo haa.. happy nye tak terkata.. but then the reality kicked in.. another alamak. Double alamak! I will have to give two months notice instead of the former one month notice to quit.


Thursday, June 02, 2005

am back...

After almost two weeks trying to recuperate from the pain in my butt, Im finally back at work. I was almost bored to tears doing nothing at home. I can sleep - the pain was excruciating when I try to lie down what more to sleep. I can't sit at all - this position was the most painful. I can't stand too long. Basically I can't do anything and this caused massive mood swings. So I just reclined like the old Romans on the couch and watched TV. Unfortunately there was no servant to feed me.. humph!

Thanks to my friend Zurd who had patiently listened to my ramblings, dealed with my mood swings and took time the time off to accompany me to the hospital for the X-ray appointment. I don't know what I'd do without you, friend!

The X-ray showed that I had a hairline crack on my tailbone (coccyx) and doctor gave me 12 days MCs to stay and rest. Yeah right! As if I can stay and rest at home. First, the resting part. How to rest la if I can't even lie down. I can't sit and I can't stand up properly. How long can you enjoy reclining on the couch for a long time. Well, I don't know how the Romans did it - the rich Romans of course reclining and do nothing. Of course la! They don't have this nagging painful butt, did they!

Second. Cooped up in a house is not how I would like to spend that 12 days, but then I can't drive because sitting and driving was out of the question what more to walk to the bus stop and take a bus to LRT station. With all the hurdles, I have no other choice but to stay home and watch Astro. From BBC news, AXN, comedies at StarWorld, cartoon at Cartoon Network, Disney Channel, all I belasah! Fortunately we don't subscribe movie channels.

After four days, I had enough. Called Zurd asked her to send me to the office clinic for second check up. Told me that I have to go back by meself. Fine. Walk or rather catwalking gingerly to the LRT station that is about two kilometre away from the office. Stopped at KLCC. Oh wow! bought some books. Yiehah! Food. Heaven! And just people watching. Or people watching me hehehe. A fruitful day. Got books for me entertainment, got food to fill me belly and got home safely without any mishap. But the next eight days were.... boring

Monday, May 30, 2005

occupational hazard 2

Crash. Boom. Bang.

I fell and injured my back. Rested four days and hopefully another week. Hope would be able to walk normally after that..

Thursday, May 19, 2005

a room without a view

Its 10pm and I am waiting at the KLIA departure hall typing the entry on my PDA (yea!! no wifi though). I am wearing the security wrist tag which in any circumstances should stay on my left wrist. I left my identity card with the security of the daily pass counter in exchange for the wrist tag and a visitor pass. Felt like a newborn in hospital where nurses put wrist tags on both babies and moms for identification purposes. Well maybe not exactly feeling like newborn.. just a jakun in KLIA hehehe.

I remember my first assignment at KLIA. Witnessing the first group of Banglas deported back to their country via the international airport. At that time I was only given the visitor pass to walk freely at the immigration counters and take the train to the departure hall. Of course I was not allowed to board the plane and fly to Bangladesh for free though I always carry my international passport with me hmmm...

While I was contemplating on how to get a free ride to anywhere (since I already at the departure hall), the Banglas were asked to walk and squat in a row - like when we are in assembly during school days. These Banglas, they were cool guys. It was cool in the departure hall and yet they refused to wear their slipar jepun. That cheap rubber sandals were either kept in their luggage bag or tied with a piece of string and slung on their shoulders. Yet, they are going to board the Boeing 737 direct flight to Karachi. Cool guys!

My first experience in a plane was back in 1995 when I met a couple who had to fly to Taiwan in full wedding attire. That was the first time I got security pass, got my bags scanned and entered a plane. Though a few months before I did fly from Senai Airport to Subang Airport, but that was in Fokker 50. My first solo flight unaccompanied hehehehe another Jakun. So excited but had to act cool.. That time the flight only cost me RM95.

Now it is 11.30pm and updating my entry, this time in a Air side hotel in the main terminal near all the international gates.

My assignment today was to witness the first passengers of the innaugural flight from Chennai, India. The flight 9W0342 Boeng 737 touched down at 5.25am after making a few circles to delay the time while waiting for the ministry VIPs to arrive.

So we had a few hours rest before the wake up call at 4am. We were brought to Airside Hotel and I got Room 169 all to myself. For the first time I got a room without a wardrobe. Since I did not get any chance to clean up before going to the hotel, I decided to hit the shower. Alamak! Howlah? My wrist tag will get wet. Time to get creative!

Done what I need to do, I decided to look at the view from my room. Go straight to the curtain, looking for the opening and found none. Lifted the hem of the curtain and tried to poke my head, hit a wall. Ohhh.... the curtain was only a camouflage. There was no window!

Friday, May 13, 2005

home alone

Am off again today and done all the chores I needed to do. I've done my banking last nite, dirty laundry and house chores, yesterday.

There are lots of pros and cons when your off days fall on weekdays - the pros, you can do your posting, shopping or banking (though now its not necessary because there are lots of internet banking or machines available 24hrs).

Meanwhile the cons are that you can't go out with your friends as they are all working. So yesterday, I was left with myself to entertain me.

And because everything had settled, I decided to lock myself inside the house but venture out through the multi windows on my laptop. As usual I found a lot of interesting things on the pop ups. Hmm...

A friend emailed me and vented out her frustration how she was pestered to get married, not by her parents mind you, but by her aunts, her email;

"tak taulah Ny, my auntie kept pestering me with questions like when
are you getting married and settle down. On top of that, I've been
constantly accosted by my married friends wanting to set me up with somebody.
Why can't they just leave me alone? One day, I will get married but it will not
be for anybody's sake but mine"

Duh! Heavy stuff I tell you.

In the society where she grew up or even our society now, although they claimed to be modern and broad minded, they are still very conservative when it comes to women and marriage. Women must behave in certain ways and get married at certain ages. They are unseen rules and regulations that women must follow, Break these rules and you are a "role model". Don't be like si anu and si anu, she is anak dara tua (spinster). She is too headstrong that is why nobody wants to marry her bla bla bla.

I wonder why nobody said that to me before?
Yes, like my friend, my aunts do pester me to get marry, but everytime I smiled at them, scooted closer to them and "senggol" (nudged) their arms and asked them to find me a good lad, they kept quite, they just gave me a smile.. it looked like a nervous smile. Why ya?

I once took up a dare from my married friend who set me up with a nice guy (dia katalah, I didn't). She kept pestering me to meet this guy. Kept telling me that he is nice and sensible. Promoting that life in marriage is a bliss. Wait until you get married, Ny, then you know how complete your life will be. Then come the children, they are joy to your heart...

So, we (the guy and I) agreed to meet at a restaurant one night. He did not know much about me except my name and I said I work in a factory (I can scare people off with just a mention of my job. It is only applicable to adults and never works with children. Children are fearless! I can yell and show my card at them but they just smiled back or giggle. Some would even laughed at my face. These children I tell you, they are brave and fearless lot!)

Okay back to the blind date. I am a factory worker meeting a senior executive working in a, suffice to say BIG company. The date went okay for the first 30 minutes I guess. Then he suddenly said to me that that I don't look like a minah karan, (well Im not sure about this. Is minah karan different from other women?). That Im too knowledgable for someone who works in factory (Aik?). I told him I do lots of office work. Ah...

Anyway, I think I've confused him enough and felt it was timely to tell him my actual occupation and as expected he became different. Defensive and aggressor(?). Out of sudden our conversation strayed into dangerous territory. Media. How damaging certain reports can do. hahaha the war has started. Assalamualaikum? Don't we all like to read about other people stories? Sansational issues? Why is it okay if it happens to other people and not to ourselves? Media just feed what the masses want to read, kalau tak takkan lah URTV tu tahan sampai sekarang? Mangga sold like juicy ripe mango and other mosquito tabloids started mushrooming here and there? Now, I attack and he defend. In the end nobody wins. Needless to say, we went our separate ways.

Well, I guess I am not as aggressive as I was before. What people think does'nt really interest me much anymore, yet it is still interesting if I can provoke a person and see him or her "latah".

By the way, my married friend who initiated the meeting is no longer married. Her husband "play three sticks" behind her back. He got a new girlfriend. She asked for divorce, he obliged. She took the kids, he never asked. She is now working to support her children. He did not even send child support.

So, marriage is not the answer to everything. It can be more than bliss yes, it can be hell. Children can be more than joy, they can be trolls! No, I am not against any marriage, children or family institution. Strong or fragile. It is not easy to find one soul-mate and doubly tough to make a relationship works. Getting married is easy but to stay married -happily, that needs a lot of work, undertanding and love.

I've read in article somewhere that career women nowadays felt that marriage is secondary after career. Modern women especially who have better pay jobs prefer to focus on their career rather than marriage. Okay, lets look at the modern woman's role despite being independent, successful, educated, professional and self sufficient if she decides to get married.

1. She has to be a wife to her husband.
2. She has to be a mother to her children.
3. She is a teacher, teaching her children between right and wrong.
4. She is a tutor, assisting with homework.
5. She is a psychologist, using her intellect in daily struggles with husband and children.
6. She is a counselor, counseling the children when a bully hits them.
7. She is a financier, budgeting the household expenses.
8. She is a chef, preparing the meals.
9. She is a baker, baking on special occasions.
10. She is a tailor, mending clothes.
11. She is a driver, ferrying the kids to and from school.
12. She is a buyer and store clerk, ensuring that all basic necessities are in the house.
13. She is a switchboard operator, answering the constantly ringing phone.
14. She is a receptionist, answering the door and receiving guests and visitors.
15. She is a waitress, feeding everyone at mealtime before she feeds herself.

hehehehe.. such a long list, isn't it?

Another friend asked why that people can be so shallow and fail to see that beautiful facade maybe the only decoration that hid a crumbling interiors, or a shabby facade maybe hiding a gem behind it?

No answer? me either.

“Paradise lies at the feet of your mother.”

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

focus of lacked of attention

I am off today. Doing house chores and watching Oprah hehehehe

Today it is about 11 men becoming women. They have to go through the normal routine that women in US of A are mostly doing. They have to go through the painful waxing (some of us here are more content with just shaving than waxing.. well some just feel too confident and allow those legs to go hairy waduh!). Make up, selecting dresses to match with purses and shoes. Learn how to be graceful and get in touch with their feminine side. Its more like watching a drag show.

Among the challanges for the guys are to get comfortable with their getup and go out in public. Some looked pretty enough but most of them look like cross dressers crossing the street. Anyway! Salute to these guys who brave enough to take up the challenge for a quarter of million dollar! Well, as these guys came in variety shape and sizes, well they turned into variety of shape and sizes wo-men.

I may be laughing together with the studio audiences but a confession from one of the participants really jarred me back to the reality. He, the wrestler said;

Being a "plus sized woman" I feel being the focus
of lacked of attention.

Don't asked me what it means but I think I got it. You get the least of public attention and yet you are being the focus of the whole scenario. Confused? Yes. But it was so glaringly clear.

I've changed, you know.

I've decided to update my blog regularly.. despite how boring the entry would be... I promise (hic).

Last night I was watching Malay drama on TV1 and I cried. I seldom cry. Even when I fell off a bus and had nasty cuts on my knee and thigh when I was 12, noo.. I did not cry. I cringed, tears did trickled but nope, it was not crying. I only cried watching Lion's King, and Dinasour. I never cry watching Malay dramas.

Well, last night I did cry. And its all Rashid Sibir, Fauziah Nawi and Muhammad Hirzi Abdul Jalil's fault. I missed the first half of the drama, but the rest of the drama was so heart-wrenching.

It was about a boy (Muhammad Hirzi Abdul Jalil) who lost his parents and stayed with his grandmother. The grandmother (Fauziah nawi) is old, but she is determined to take care of her grandson. She always talked about death, her own, and advised him to be strong when the times come. One day she fall sick, really sick and told Epul (the grandson) to buy her some medicine, so Epul ran to the shop and bought the pills. On the way home (he had to cross a river) the medicine fell off into the river and washed by the strong current. Concerned over the grandmother sickness, Epul ran to save the pills, used stick to pull the medicine to the shore but failed. In the end he dived into the river and got washed down by the strong current. At home the grandmother was frantic. Late at night, Epul's body was found and brought home. It was too much for the grandmother, she could not accept the truth. She fainted.

Kunang-kunang cucuku sayang
Pucuk paku di kais kais
Rindu siang bawa bertandang
Rindu malam bawa menangis...

I thought my tears ends there.. noooo... they had to use my favourite song as the ending.

Pelangi Petang
Kumeniti awan yang kelabu
Kutempuhi lorong yang berliku
Mencari sinar yang menerangi
Kupercaya pasti suatu masa
Sang suria kan menyinar jua
Membawa harapan yang menggunung
Engkau tiba bagaikan pelangi
Tak bercahya namun kau berseri
Tapi cukup menghiburkan
Hati ini
Seharian waktu bersamamu
Tak terasa saat yang berlalu
Bagai pelangi petang kau kan

Pergi jua...

wise man said...

My father once said,

do not expect others to be able to do what you can do and never look down on people as they may be better than you.

What a wise man, my father is.

off track..
However, this saying does not applicable to my bestfriend Zurd, she is almost six footer and for a 5f5i like me, I always have to "look up" at her even when she talked rubbish. Aiyoh!

on track..
So, here I am, standing in front of him, studying his face closely, dismissing my father wise words and instead in my head, I started singing...

Kau peluk aku
Sebelum membunuhku
Tersenyum melihatmu
Merenung melihatku
Kau Menungguku
Menungguku terjatuh
Setiap langkah tertuju
Setia dalam renungku
Aku menunggumu
Mati didepanku
Di depanku
Di depanku
Kau peluk aku
Sebelum membunuhk
Tersenyum melihatku
Merenung melihatku
Apa ynag kau lakukan
Tak kau tunjukkan
Apa yang kau lakukan
Di belakangku
Di belakangku
Di belakangku
Di belakangku

Okay bos! Whatever you say bos!


I was walking at the parking lot when I received a call from kuehpau. I missed the late night supper and randevous with you. Collecting "boyfriends" all along the way. Oi! Its all in the name of work hehehehe. I've waited for more than six months for you and when you came, when we just about to settle down and enjoy the work at the "down under", I've transferred back to the rat's hole. Mereka mencemburui kita...

Thank you for the call, I will drop a line and link to your blog. Happy walking!

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

occupational hazard

After all that farting around yesterday, one can't help being out of breath.. gimme a sec! Puf! Puf!

Anyway, that outburst was not directed to anyone in particular, just letting the steam out. Since this blog is about MY mundane life, once in a while I still need to spice things up.

Lately I got tensed up easily because there are not much things to do in the office. I did not get the opportunity to go out, instead I were cooped up inside the office and had to do follow-ups, calling people here and there. It was so boring that I ended pissing off a few people on the Net and get meself pissed at. So, by end of the day, my occupational hazard had increased to 300 per cent, thank you very much.

Talking about the occupational hazard, my friend was recently diagnosed with computer related repetitive strain injury or RSI.

"We pray with our hands and often communicate with them. We use them to eat, work, and make love. We employ them as marvelously sophisticated instruments of flexibility and strength, and when they are damaged, we anguish." - Keith L. Moore, Clinically Oriented Anatomy.

Repetitive Strain Injuries occur from repeated physical movements doing damage to tendons, nerves, muscles, and other soft body tissues. Occupations ranging from meatpackers to musician have characteristic RSIs that can result from the typical tasks they perform. The rise of computer use and flat, light-touch keyboards that permit high speed typing have resulted in an epidemic of injuries of the hands, arms, and shoulders. Use of pointing devices like mice and trackballs are as much a cause, if not more so. The thousands of repeated keystrokes and long periods of clutching and dragging with mice slowly accumulates damage to the body : another name for the condition is Cumulative Trauma Disorder. This can happen even more quickly as a result of typing technique and body positions that place unnecessary stress on the tendons and nerves in the hand, wrist, arms, and even the shoulders and neck. Lack of adequate rest and breaks and using excessive force almost guarantee trouble.


Armada110 with one broken neck (yihihihi)
For a big company like my workplace, none of the office furniture are occupational friendly. In fact, these furniture seems to have mind of their own. Scary? Well, almost all of us here are scary hihihi.
Actually, I lost my favourite five-wheel drive this morning. Well, this is not the first time somebody stole my "vehicle" and it annoyed me when it was not at its "parking" place, so I had to go hunting high and low (take it in literally please ;p) for the five-wheeler and fuiyo! I found it at the other side of the office room. Lucky for me we have no cubicles, so hunting the wheeler is not a problem and does not need any binocular or yelling for that matter!
finally, at its proper place
Okay, okay it is just a normal cheap clerk's chair with no arm rests but it is comfortable than the rest of the chairs that we have here. At least it is able to support my back and made me sit up straight and the wheels are working nicely, so that I can just push the chair around to pick up phones from other desks. wheeeliee!

Monday, May 09, 2005

pissing off the strangers

Is there no more sincerity in this world that every offer to help would be misinterprete? Whats wrong in extending a helping hand? Do I need to pity somebody in order to help? Do I need to have hidden agenda to offer my help? So? Go fart yourself.

Have you ever heard of "lillahi Taala". Doing good deeds for the love of God? Im not pious far from it and because of that, I try to do everything else to save me butt from that eternal fire in the Pit. Trying my best not to be acquaintance with Malik instead looking forward to befriend Ridhuan. Is that wrong? Fart it la!

I try not to judge people despite my work requirement to constantly become the Judge. I craved for sincerity because Im used to be stabbed at the back and back stabbing. I look for friendship because I lost a friend and gain an enemy every day. Even my ex-classmate became suspicious when out of the blue she received a call from me. Me who called her just to say hello. Me who just want to chat with her and asked her how do you do, its been a long time. Do you know how much did it hurt me? No. Because for you it was just a joke. So instead of saying all the good things, I said to her, fart you la! And never call her again. So, I lost another friend.

Do I need to advertise it? Do I need to pay a column in papers to tell the world? Im just being me. Helping strangers is better than helping friends.Ok, I helped a stranger last Friday, a car owner with flat battery. It was raining heavily. His wife and maid was pushing the car, he tried the engine. The wife is still on confinement, just delivered their third baby boy. I asked whether they need any help, they were so relieved. I helped jumped start the car, it worked. I was late to the office, but I don't care. Work is just work. I dirtied all my fingers, so what? There was smudges on my blouse, it would wash away. Who cares, Im not a model or a celebrity for that matter. I don't need to be constantly pretty because fart it, Im not.

That is why I have limited friends. I can count my friends with my fingers. I have less than five friends aside from my family. Is it a crime to care? If yes, shoot me la, and fart you too! So everybody, you can release all your au-naturel methane gasses because now, I don't farting care about your environment!!